They were really awful jokes. Howard's convinced that medical professionals are the most jaded and sarcastic people in the universe, even moreso than morticians and standup comedians. And the last few battles had been ugly enough to warrant it.

Funny, they managed to walk away in one piece. A few scars, but no missing body parts. Howard's got a scar down his back and side that might make someone double-take, and another hidden under his hair from that encounter with the robots, but other than that all his wounds are psychological. And most of them existed before the ship, even.

"You saved my life too, you know. And I don't get all mushy about that." Except he does, in secret. It's just hard to live with, harder to nurse than a crush, and not about to be alleviated with Cedric's acceptance.

Because if you love someone, you have to cope with the reality that one day, they might not be there. And then you'll have to mourn them.

He reaches out again intertwines his arm with Cedric's.